We then move on to topic on my career. How she said I'm lucky to have this job with a stable income, you can travel around the world, good bonuses, how I should start on my savings, how long she forsee me working in this company.
Finally, we moved on to marriage life. But before she continue further, I told her,
"Ma, On this very evening, I just wanna tell you something, that in the future, I don't want to get married. Don't expect me to be up on that pelamin, don't expect a kid from me. I just want to lead a simple life, no marriage, no kids, just me, travelling, doing my runs & music. That's all."
"But why? I want to hold my grandchildren in my arms.."
"You already have them.."
"But not from you. I want it when people ask 'Eh ni Anak siapa? Anak Ridwan? Eh eh dah besar..'"
"No ma. I just can't. Don't force me to. I'm sorry. I can't even manage myself, you want me to have a family on my own."
"That is why I want you to have a wife to manage you and me when I'm getting old later.."
"No ma. I can do that on my own. I dont need a third party. I can take care of you."
She seems disappointed. I can sense her disappointment from her voice. But I'm sorry ma. I just can't forsee myself getting married. I'm happy this way. So please, respect my decision like how I respect you as an elderly, as my guardian, as my mother.
In the future, when both my parents or guardians not around anymore, InsyaAllah, I want to migrate out of Singapore. I love being alone. Its just me.
With love,
Syed Ridwan
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