Do you know that because of you I changed?! Do you know that because of you I started off my praying routine because I neglect agama eversince I was young? Even though I've started praying, I'm not ready to lead a family. I'm not prepared to lead my family in the future. You've been showing signs to make me be the Imam. But yeah. I'm not good at it. Or i'm not taught to be an Imam. I didn't brought up religiously.
I've done so many sins in life. Drinking whenever I'm sad, Neglecting religion, Doing stuffs against my religion.
Now I wanted to change. I consulted my friends who knows me well enough. I consulted my friends to ask whether am I wrong? Dating you and making this an opportunity to change?
"Its not wrong. But you must know the reason behind dating her. Because of love. And to change is just a pluspoint"
Yes. I do love you. I love you every single fibre of my body. But... Everytime, whenever the past haunts me back, I feel like a total retard. Like I'm stuck between a fence. It's like now I'm playing with fire. I playing with the future and the past.
Yes, you guys always say, just forget the past and move on with the present and work towards the future. Easier said than done. I'm the one suffering it.
And what if I say... That's not all to my sins? Would you believe me what I'm going to say? I doubt you will.
One thing I hated... Stop being emo on twitter la. Just not my thing. Just not my thing.
Nevermind. Your twitter. Not mine. You've not seen the nasty side of me yet.
With love,
Syed Ridwan
